A MATTER OF THE HEART by Marc Brisebois

There is one scripture which defines man's condition in the clearest possible terms. It reads, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?", Jeremiah 17:9.

The question 'Who can know it?', is quickly answered in the next verse: "I, the Lord, search the heart,..." The implication is man cannot know it. If it is our goal to have a pure heart we are facing an impossible task... humanly speaking. We have the power to adjust our thinking, modify our behavior and temper our emotions, but how can a man make himself see what his heart does not wish to see? When the 'heart' - that part of us which interprets the world around us and tells our minds what it means - is skewed and warped how can there be any hope of real purity? Yet, becoming increasingly pure in heart is a major part of our mandate. Perhaps, this is what the Apostle Paul was speaking about when he admonished us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling! It is like having the responsibility to walk a line, without ever being entirely sure where that line is. Certainly this is a task requiring a great deal of humility on our part.

The Scientific Community

Some years ago I was struck by the foolishness of mankind and his clear lack of humility. We repeatedly place our trust in that which cannot be trusted. Consider for example the fields of modern science. Man repeatedly celebrates his own magnificence as fresh scientific discoveries are made. Yet, he fails to appreciate that each new discovery disqualifies a previous theory & meaning, for years and sometimes decades man will hold to a theory which is wrong. When he discovers what he believes is the 'actual' truth, the old theory is dismissed out of hand without so much as a thought. Whereas, he should be in shock at believing a lie for so long, there is little or no recognition of this fact. It is either purposely or unknowingly 'glossed over'. The joy of fresh insight blinds him to the issue which should always be before him. That is, "how can I trust what I presently believe about the world when tomorrow I may discover something which will invalidate what I believe to be true today?".

It reminds me of something I read by Richard Wurmbrand the founder of 'Voice of the Martyrs'. He said, "Distrust your mind, the same mind which yesterday made decisions which we know to be wrong today, we trust to make decisions for tomorrow". Scripture echoes this admonition saying "Cursed is the man who trust in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord", Jeremiah 17:5. This passage tells us there is something wrong within mankind which goes beyond the mind; a component of our being which will always deceive him and which cannot be trusted. Furthermore, this 'something' is a part of who we are at our very core; it cannot be circumvented or avoided. No matter how intellectually 'open' or 'honest with ourselves' we may think we are, mankind cannot get beyond himself. This is one of the reasons we need Jesus!

The Christian Predicament

Becoming a Christian is no guarantee we will ever fully get past this issue. When one becomes a believer, he has only begun to deal with the problem of the heart. While we are usually quick to declare our trust in the Lord, such declarations come from a superficial understanding of the problem. Because trust is not just a matter of the mind, it is a matter of the heart. We often confuse 'trust' and 'sincerity'. This is especially relevant in the issue of faith. How often have we heard believers say, "I believed with all my heart, and it did not happen". How does one then deal with the scripture which says 'anything is possible to him who believes'? Did Jesus lie? Obviously not! Rather, to believe with one's heart is not nearly the same as being optimistic or hopeful. We trust with our heart; we express sincerity with our mind. This means one can be entirely convinced of something in his mind without the slightest conviction in his heart. The heart is that illusive component of our being which gives expression to our deepest desires. Unfortunately, the heart is hidden to the mind. If that were not enough of a problem, add to it the fact the heart is wicked and deceptive.

When we get saved selfish motives of the flesh in our heart go 'underground'. They hide behind the veil of 'good works', hoping to live another day undetected. They remind me of the Nazi guards from World War II concentration camps. As the Allied forces closed in on them, many dressed in prisoners clothing in the hope of avoiding arrest. Likewise our heart plays the chameleon game of adapting to a fresh morality, always resistant to real change. It will happily sacrifice overt expressions of evil for the preservation of inner darkness. Like man himself, the heart will do anything to preserve itself.

This brings us to a most critical issue: When can we ever be sure of ourselves? The answer is a resounding, 'Never!'. We can never be sure of ourselves. This is why it is foolishness to trust in man. We can only be sure of the Lord. This is a part of what it means to 'trust in the Lord with all of your heart and not to lean on your own understanding' (Proverbs 3:5). Following the Lord means a decision for believing God as opposed to man. What we have failed to realize is that 'believing man' includes yourself. 'Let God be true and every man a liar' (Romans 3:4). For this same reason Jeremiah tells us we are cursed if we trust in man. To trust in man means to depart from the Lord; to trust in the Lord means to leave trusting ourselves. This is impossible to do if we have not fully seen the deceptiveness of the human heart. Once we have begun to truly see the heart, our perspective of the Christian life begins to change.

My initial perspective of the Christian life was like most others. I thought the chief objective of radical Christianity was to dedicate all my energies to the service to God. My Christianity quickly became the sum total of my outward actions. If anyone was in doubt of my faith I could simply point to my works. I thought I was like James who proposed to 'show faith by my works' (James 2:18). During this period I did a great deal of 'showing (off) my faith'. Little did I realize! I was about to discover that while true faith will be demonstrated in works, not all works are the evidence of true faith.

Jesus' dealings with the so-called righteous should stand as a continual warning to us. The Pharisee's were religious hypocrites who were preoccupied with 'looking good'. With all their strength they worked at being as faithful as they could possibly be; but the very best men can muster is cursed before God. The outcome of our life in Christ is not so much the pursuit of 'fruit', but the production of increasingly pure fruit, from an increasingly pure heart. The quality of the fruit is determined by the quality of the tree. Remember, a bad tree cannot bear good fruit (Matthew 7:18). While I thought I knew and understood this principle, I did not. When I read 'The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked', I believed it was speaking of others,... or at least the unsaved.

My first real insight into my own 'heart matters' came in the spring of 1982, while attending Christ for the Nations in Dallas, Texas. It was my first semester and I had been serving the Lord less than a year. My pursuit of the Lord had brought me repeatedly to the love chapter in Corinthians (13). It read:

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;..." (1 Corinthians 13:4-6)

I had become very familiar with these passages and the remainder of the chapter. Since it was my goal to become loving, I applied myself to practicing these principles as best I could. In my mind I was doing a fine job of living up to Biblical 'requirements'. Despite my sincerity I was deceived. And as most who are deceived, I did not know it - that is the nature of being deceived, you are unaware. Thankfully I was about to be delivered from my ignorance. I was about to receive a greater measure of the truth which would set me free.

Going Under the Knife (Sword)

For months I had been praying in the spirit for profound change to come to my life. But I never really understood why until this day. With stunning clarity the Holy Spirit wielded the Word of God into my heart. As I read these same Corinthian passages I had become so familiar with, it became the Sword of the Spirit. The purity of the love of God began to unfold before me which each verse I read. I began beholding the glory of God in the face of Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18). It did two things: First it revealed how pure and true was the love of God. Then, as a direct and immediate effect of that revelation, I saw the self-serving motivations of my heart. Words cannot adequately convey the shock of those brief but seemingly endless moments.

The outer veneer of my good works began to peel back exposing hidden ambitions. What was previously a kind gesture to a fellow student stood open and exposed before the revelation of the Sword of the Spirit. Hidden behind was a calculated effort to impress others; the need to convince myself I was a candidate for a great ministry; a desire to excel above others. The various implications of what I saw were numerous. I was deeply stunned! As I continued to read the passages the level of conviction continued to increase. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as surprise gave way to horror. The depth of my hearts deceptive powers matched those of the most malevolent creatures I had seen depicted in movies and history. 'How could this be?', I questioned.

Continuing to read, it seemed as though every fiber of my being was a lie. Like Isaiah I thought, "Woe am I! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts." (Isaiah 6:5) So bright was this glory it seemed to leave no stone unturned. Images of my daily lifestyle began to filter through my mind as I read down through the verses. When I came to the passage which said 'love does not parade itself', I immediately saw myself dancing in chapel times. What I thought had been to the Lord suddenly became part of the elaborate attempt to appear spiritual. Possessing only a grain of true worship the majority of my attention was toward the student body. I had been performing for onlookers! Esteeming myself 'set apart', a 'true member' of an elite core of worshipers, I believed my dancing to be evidence of a superior dedication to which others should aspire. As the pride of my heart was being exposed the sense of repulsion I felt for myself made me want to hide. But where could I go?

When it seemed I would soon be crushed under the awesome weight of what seemed to be 'cruel truth', the experience took a dramatic turn for the worse. I saw the open hands of Jesus holding what seemed to be a ugly mass of pure filth. So vivid was the vision I turned my head at the sight and smell. Unable to determine its form I asked the Lord what it was. He replied almost casually, "This is your heart!". As painful as everything had been to that moment this seemed like a deathblow which I could not endure. My thoughts turned like a whirlwind as I exited the room. Running across the courtyard I made my way to the prayer room above the cafeteria where I collapsed inches from the doorway.

My entire world seemed to be shaken as I lay sobbing. A combination of embarrassment, shame, shock, and disqualification flooded my being. Suddenly from the far side of the room a voice rang out in prophecy. It was another student who had been there quietly praying, unaware of what was happening to me. The words were both commending and accepting as the Father assured me of my place in His house and His love for me. Shame turned to comfort as in the shadow of some severe discipline His unchanging love shone through.

The Fruit of Revelation

The fruit of this encounter with the Lord is both great and varied. Above all of the perceptions gained, an awareness of the deceptiveness of the heart, remains the most critical. If my own heart was selfish and deceptive, how could it be trusted to give my mind pure insights. The answer was clear: Man is unable of objective judgment. Without the light of Christ's truth piercing through the darkness of our lives, we will always misinterpret what we see. It is the proverbial issue we so often see in the media today regarding the police department and issues of misconduct by them. Who polices the police? Can the police be trusted to properly judge themselves?

The heart of man is deceitfully wicked and unable to accurately judge itself. Infected by self-interest it cannot be objective. In as much as we cannot physically lift ourselves into the air, we cannot distance ourselves from the motives of the heart. This holds true whether or not you are a believer. Coming to Christ is the beginning of change, not the consummation. But since the heart holds a position of power it uses that power to insulate itself from change. It goes to great lengths to weave an elaborate trail of deception, permitting superficial acts of goodness which serve only to mask greater depths of wickedness. What then is the answer to this human dilemma? The answer is simple! It is found in the humility which turns us to the Lord at the revelation of our hopeless condition. Our only hope is to hunger and thirst for the Truth, realizing we remain blind if we think we already see (John 9:41).